Wednesday, Mar. 03, 2010

Ode to odorous boys

There's plenty of what I'll call the slightly gross going in my house. You know, boy things.

So here's a poetic tribute to our sons. May they eventually learn how to giggle without tooting.

Missing the toilet seat is as old as time,

Could you please aim correctly and all would be fine?

How do cute little things leave such a ring in the shower,

Forcing me to scrub with near superhero power?

Any why lick your hands when the napkin's right there?

The walls and the furniture really do care.

Your nasty old cleats can ruin a drive,

With that repulsive stench how do we survive?

Boys in a room behind closed doors you play,

Can you open a window to please save the day?

Why burp and pass gas when you all eat as one,

Is it really so fabulous and a barrel of fun?

If you could remember the second flush is key,

No mom wants to see floaters, especially me.

Don't give me the drink back once you've taken some of mine,

The things you leave swimming make me cringe every time.

Consider your ears; the yellow wax makes me sick,

Clean your nails, scrub your pits, touch that deodorant stick!

May you figure this out by the time you are men,

And yet another woman is sharing your den.

May you figure this out as you grow and you change,

I'll know one day I'll miss these gross things all the same.